It's all coming apart at the seams.

In spite of my best efforts it's just not happening this time around.  Week one was okay, basically sticking to week twos diet but with the odd step back into week one.  Exercises were great.

There's one vital change from last time around though which is screwing everything up, namely Vivienne's back at work.

Last time round she was on maternity leave and looking after Harris.  Now she's back at work and the grandparents are looking after him two and half days a week each.  Last time round I would finish work and head to my gym to do my workout, safe in the knowledge that Viv was with Harris at home sorting out his dinner, getting him ready for bath time and all that.  The difference now is that Viv's not getting home until six pm some nights (being a probationary teacher is fucking hard work - after dinner she'll be in the office planning until 2am usually...)  It just doesn't seem fair to me to leave two sets of retirees' to look after a tired one year old at the end of a long day when he should be with his parents having dinner and getting ready for sleep.

So, needless to say, I arrived home yesterday at half four ready to work out.  Harris was dropped off before I even got my shoes off.  I then, basically, waited for an hour and a half before Viv got home to take over.  During that time I sorted Harris out with dinner and we had a little play.  When Viv got home she then had a bit more planning for the next day to do so I bathed Harris and got him ready for bed (Vivienne still gets him to sleep, I won't go into the technicalities) thinking that I could now, finally, do my workout.  Of course by this time it's 8pm, I'm exhausted and haven't had anything to eat since my fruit snack at 4.30.  So instead of my workout I just cracked on with cleaning the kitchen, tidying the living room and making dinner.

So, you see my problem: there just aren't enough hours in the day.  I'd love to say that I will just be selfish and make the time to do the workouts but the truth is, it's not fair on those around me to do that.

I get up at 6.30 in the morning and get ready for work.  I have my FIYL sanctioned breakfast and Harris and I walk out the door at 7 to drive to Marchmont to drop him off.  I get to work, if I'm lucky, at 7.45 and then I have to just get on with my job.  I leave any time between 4 and 5.30 and I head for home where I have another full time job.  I'm lucky if I'm in bed before 11 and then I can expect to have to get up to warm milk for Harris a couple of times - usually at 1am and 3am.  Before you know it it's time to get up again.

I know that FIYL means that one is to fit into their own life but sometimes FIYL just doesn't fit into your life. This is particularly true for those with children and other such responsibilities (watch out for this Mikey) and sometimes it feels like a truly insurmountable problem.  I really want to do this - I know how good it is going to feel in a months time - but I am having a really hard time figuring out how to do it.

Suggestions will be welcomed with open arms.  If not open eyes.

Day 8 photo:

What do you want?  I'm sleeping.